Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Our Wayward Kids

It has not been lost on me that many liberals act very much like children. In fact, I would take the comparison much farther than just the casual notice. When one really looks at it, the similarities are astounding. In fact, the notion of a nation full of parents and children- with Conservatives being the parents and liberals the children- is not at all far fetched.

To begin with, we already know that Conservatives (hereafter called "parents") are the ones who make the money and make the country go (SEE this brilliant essay)- and liberals (hereafter called "children") are the ones who tax the parents and spend OPM (other people's money) like it was going out of style.

Furthermore, we know that parents understand the need for order and discipline, and children hate and resist rules and regulations at all cost- unless it is a rule that benefits the child or his childish plans. In our society, those kinds of "child rules" usually involve outlawing something that the parents have established and determined to be important- like order and discipline, or Christianity.

The fact that children try to resist parental authority is not news and is hardly alarming in and of itself. However, it becomes greatly alarming when the parents start letting the children get away with resisting authority and usurping order and discipline. When the child is allowed to throw public temper tantrums and demand things that are either dangerous or that just make absolutely no sense at all... well, then, we've come to a point where the parents are not doing much parenting.

That, sadly, is where we find ourselves now. We have been bad "parents" and our "children" are out of control.

Every since we let them throw that big party while we were out of town (see the sixties), things haven't been the same. We took our eye off the parental ball and they let in all the bad kids with no parents and no respect for our house. Our main mistake was, of course, letting them take their "rebellion" so seriously. We humored them and let them run around with the kids that we knew were bad news. We figured it was just a phase... kind of like sock hops and dragging main street. Turns out it was more like Satan came to dinner and never left.

Soon after, they began demanding dangerous and obscene privileges (see rampant & public sex, and abortion on demand- required because of the rampant sex thing). Now, they are holding their breath until they turn blue(er) (see Mother Moonbat, Cindy Sheehan). They are running through the house writing obscenities on the walls with markers (see hollywood). They are rebelling against their father by calling him names and trying to embarrass him in public (see Bush Derangement Syndrome from virtually every liberal in existence). They keep saying that "all of their friends are doing it" (see liberals' infatuation with Europeans). They constantly want those friends to come over and tell us how our household should be run (see john kerry wanting to bring the French "to the table." Also see "international law").

We could go on for days listing all of the naughty, harmful, and insane things that our "children" are involved with nowadays... but let's suffice it to say that they want to do literally anything and everything that comes into their id-controlled minds with absolutely no mention of consequences (see all liberals, everywhere). If we attempt to interfere with this perverted form of existence, they start hollering about us being repressive and oppressive and abusive... then they call the child protective services on us (see the aclu) .

Perhaps we need to reexamine our roles as "parents" to these "children". Since our real parental powers have been neutered by the town council (see out of control courts and liberal activist politicians), we will have to take small steps to regain control of our household. Fortunately, we've been making real progress since 1994... and it looks as if we can continue that trend, so long as we can keep a few things from further hurting us.

First, we have to invite more good relatives to the house and stop letting the crazy uncles come over (see McCain, Hagel, and other RINO's). They want so much to be the "cool uncles", that they have become overly-permissive and are contributing to the problem.

Next, we have to keep the bad kids with the porno videos from getting into the house all the time (see hollywood again). They are leaving lasting imprints of indecency in the minds and souls of our "children".

Finally, we need to get busy and drag these "children" to church on Sundays. If they don't want to come in, they can wait in the car and sit respectfully while we worship... but we have to stop them from sprayinggraffitii all over the church buildings and disrespecting the town's religious beliefs (see the aclu again).

Things are not as bad as they could be. The "children" do still- deep in their hearts and minds- know who the "parents" are. They still come running to us when they stub their toe (see liberals calling 911 when they are robbed), or when a scary storm is coming (see Walmart, et al responding to the hurricane ravaged Gulf Coast), or when the bad guys come over to the house to beat them up (see September 11th, 2001)... and, for sure, they come running to us whenever they or any of their friends need money (see U.S. tax code and welfare system).

Now, if we could only get them to make their beds and stop messing up the house so damn bad (see rampant crime, illegitimacy rates,frivolouss lawsuits, social chaos, etc.).

Almost makes you wish Daddy Dubya would just ground them all for life!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't we just beat them?

30/8/05 20:37  
Blogger huskermet said...

That was me who said that BTW

30/8/05 20:39  
Anonymous Mike said...

The beatings will commence in one minute.

30/8/05 21:44  
Anonymous Mike said...

Great post, btw!

30/8/05 21:45  
Blogger saj said...

Some should be sent to the Institute for Conservative Thought (aka The Institute for Right Thinking) for 3 months of intensive deprogramming.

Some should be sent to a Marine boot camp run by KMG. There they should be made to lick the boots of real Marines everyday.

Some should be sent to Cuba to live in a commune with Medea Benjamin where she can explain to them why Cuba is "heaven" compared to the United States.

And the rest should be thrown out of airplanes (with parachutes of course) over Saudi Arabia and Iran with notes attached that say, "We Love George Bush" and "Mohammud is Satan".

31/8/05 04:41  
Anonymous Angie said...

Now thats discipline! LOL

31/8/05 06:09  
Anonymous Tsar Lazar said...

"Children are like beefsteaks; the more you beat them, the more tender they become."
---Edgar Allen Poe

I think we should paddle the lot of them...preferably in the 2008 election.

Pomoze Bog.
Tsar Lazar

PS You forgot one positive influence, kmg...we should outlaw dogs and make the "kids" all mandatory cat owners; cats make better Conservative role models, as I've pointed out previously... ;)

31/8/05 07:08  
Blogger kmg said...

Sure thing- cats for everyone!

Then, while they're all busy cleaning up hairball gunk and litter boxes and defurring their clothes and furniture... we'll run up and spank 'em!!

31/8/05 09:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lots of spanking and beating going on here. Are you all Germans?

31/8/05 12:14  
Blogger kmg said...


31/8/05 17:29  

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